Lets start with the main event. In March, I spent a month in hospital and came out weighing a mere 6 and a half stones (43kg / 95 pounds).
Before I start, let me get the boring details out of the way. I've had a condition called crohns & ulcerative colitis since 2000, which causes inflammation of the colon due to an overreaction by the immune system.
Until now, I've been keeping it under control with a bucket load of medications including immune suppressants such as azathioprine, and corticosteroids such as prednisolone. They all have their side-effects, but you tolerate them if they manage to control the condition. There are also tons and tons of food intolerances. All types of beans, anything high fibre, dairy products, as well as vegetables and fruits.
But in the last few years these medications have become less effective in controlling the inflammation, so i went for the surgery, where they cut out the affected part of the bowel. In my case, that's all of it.
The op is done in two stages with me using an external ostomy bag (a poo bag) in-between.
They called me in to hospital the day before surgery so they can monitor my health pre-surgery to make sure you're fit enough. They told me to get in to the hospital gown and wear the stockings that prevent deep vein thrombosis. Along with flip flops, its quite a sexy combination.
I didn't feel much nerves for some reason. Probably because i was looking forward to the benefits of the surgery. No more pills and my diet opening up again to all foods! Being able to be a normal weight, size and strength for once in my life.
They informed me about the anaesthetic used during the procedure. An epidural! They use that shit for women giving birth! Anaesthetic straight into the spine!
Next day came around, and i had to wait til 3pm for my surgery slot. Bit i didn't mind. I was calm, mostly browsing the net on my phone, being the addict i am.
They sat me down in a wheelchair and wheeled me into the anaesthetic room where the anaesthetist, some foreign-sounding dude, was in rather good spirits. He looked through a window into the next room where the surgeries takes place to check if they were ready for me.
"Whoa, what a mess" he said.
"Is there blood all over the place??" I replied jokingly, with a smile.
Seeing as it was where bowel op's were taking place, he replied...
"No. Shit actually".
Jokingly of course. I laughed hard. Half cos he made such a dodgy joke, and probably half cos the nerves were starting.
He inserted something into my spine close to the neck area and asked me for feedback on how i felt. All of a sudden i felt the most excruciating pain ever across my chest and arms! NERVE PAIN! "ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH" I lightly screamed.
He pulled the thing out and tried again, this time more successfully. Once that was in, he administered the drug to knock me out. I love this bit. You feel it take effect in a few seconds. It's an amazing feeling. I've never taken heroin, but i imagine it would feel something like that. I was probably awake for another 20 or 30 wonderful seconds, and then i was out.......
Part 2 - Pre-surgery
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