I’ve never written such big posts before. It’s difficult to structure everything. I have so much more to wrote, but I don’t know how to structure it all to keep it interesting. To keep it interesting, I think I’ll alternative between something about my health, and then something more light hearted.
Let’s start with the latter. Beeps. Beep beep. Beep beep beep. Are you finding this annoying? BEEP BEEP BEEP! LOTS OF BEEPS. I certainly found it annoying each night in the HDU (high dependency uni) when I’m trying to sleep, and all I hear are various beeps every few seconds. Occasionally, there’d be a special extra long, loud beep. When an action needs to be taken, like replace the drip bag.
Although, to be honest, if you press the morphine button a couple of times, the beeps can become rather enjoyable. A bit like trance music. You find yourself tapping your fingers to the beep.
Let me tell you about one of the main culprits of the beeps. A lovely old lady named June Rose. Or Rose June. I’m not sure which way it went, she seemed to change it each time a nurse asked her. I’ll call her Rose here because I prefer names based on flowers rather than months.
She arrived into the ward a few days after me, into the space to my left. I had a wonderful window slot by the way. Lots of natural light. There was a wonderful children’s garden outside.
Anyway, Rose. She had had some type of surgery, heart if I remember correctly, and was on the epidural for first 2 days, like me.
When it was her time to come off of it, she complained of being unable to feel one side of her body and was quite panicked about it. The doctors couldn’t really do much for her apart from reassure her and wait to see how things develop. It may have been a temporary thing. They attached lots of monitoring equipment which was the culprit of most of the beeps in the ward.
Over the next few days, confusion began to creep in. She’d talk to herself. She’d answer questions with answers that didn’t make sense. There was one day where anything you asked her, there was a 90% chance she’d reply with “not very often no”. On this day she was asked a lot of questions by the nurses and doctors to assess her mental state.
“What is your name?”
“Not very often no”
“Rose, do you know where you are?”
“Umm, not very often no”
“You are in hospital”
“I know!!”
“Do you know why you are here?”
“Pardon?”
“Do you know why you are here?”
“……….”
“Rose, do you know why you are here?”
“Not very often no”
Was quite sad to hear. She was going mental or something. And forgetting everything told to her.
After some tests and scans, they found she had had a stroke during the operation.
Ok maybe this story wasn’t so light hearted. How about a joke instead?
Police are investigating a street in Birmingham where they have already removed 62 Asians for living in the UK illegally.
They're raiding a second house tomorrow.
Ha? Or how about this. Saw this bag on my hospital bed.
Unfortunate bag fold
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